Published Article

I have blogging here for a while and it has been more for self development. I also write for other sites mainly having to do with relationships. One of my articles caught the editor’s eye and they have published it on their home page.

It is different from what is normally posted here, but please as wonderful followers take a look and feel free to leave comments:

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/josyanne-chambers/men-and-their-emotions

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Getting what you want

I haven’t written much in a long time because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to write about. I keep asking myself, “What do I want to write about?” “What is important to talk about?” And I came up with “How about getting what you want?”

Everyone says they deserve the best, but how many of us truly believe it? Clearly not a lot, and it is evident in the number of poor and unhappy people in the world. Most of us feel guilty about having things, we feel selfish if we go after what we want, we hide behind what other people think and what they perceive us to be. Some of are even indoctrinated into thinking that having money is a sin! (The people without usually come up with this).

We need to step out of our comfort zone, go for what we want and know that we deserve it and we WILL get it, the doors will open and what we really and truly want will become clear and answers/solutions  will be right there.

Affirmation:

“I am in tune with the Infinite and I can do what needs to be done. Through the power that dwells within me I can succeed, I can overcome, I can be what I want to be, I can have what I truly want.”

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Don’t give up!

There are days when we just feel like giving up, when everything seems so insurmountable.  DON’T GIVE UP!

This is when we need to dig deep. Do not be discouraged, have FAITH. Be patient and at the same time be persistent in your endeavor. When it seems the darkest, that’s when you need to persist, know in your heart that what it is you are doing, is what you should be doing.

If you have doubts, then maybe your aren’t doing it for the right reasons. Look at why you are having these doubts, are they your doubts or the doubts of others? Reevaluate why you are doing what you are doing. But above all else DON’T GIVE UP!

Sometimes we need help in staying and/or reevaluating or course, seek help. Whether from friends, support group, life coach etc. Just DON’T GIVE UP!

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Beautiful Quote

The good you find in others, is in you too.
The faults you find in others, are your faults as well.
After all, to recognize something you must know it.
The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well.
The beauty you see around you, is your beauty.
The world around you is a reflection, a mirror
showing you the person you are.
To change your world, you must change yourself.
To blame and complain will only make matters worse.
Whatever you care about, is your responsibility.
What you see in others, shows you yourself.
See the best in others, and you will be your best.
Give to others, and you give to yourself.
Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful.
Admire creativity, and you will be creative.
Love, and you will be loved.
Seek to understand, and you will be understood.
Listen, and your voice will be heard.
Show your best face to the mirror, and you’ll be happy
With the face looking back at you.

- Unknown
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Fixing Relationships

How many of you are in relationships and finding fault with the other person(s)? How many of you are taking on the project of trying to change the “offending” party and justified it by saying one of the following:
“But I just want them to change because I love them so much” (you probably do love them, that’s not the issue) or “I just know that if they meditated and prayed, they’d be better off; (they probably would; meditation and prayer have been proven to be effective) or “I just know if they followed a low-fat diet, dropped that extra weight, and lowered their cholesterol, they’d be happier” (this may be true too).

Stop trying to justify your what you are doing and answer the following question, regardless of the reasons, who are you really trying to change?
Trying to change others to be the way we think they should be or the way we want them to be is a recipe for disaster. No one likes to be another person’s project. And while it is certainly true that we can and do influence each other, lasting change only happens when an individual makes that choice for him or herself.

People don’t change because we want them to; they change because they want to. It doesn’t matter how clever, how noble, how skilled, how manipulative we might be, people only make lasting changes when they are willing and ready to do so. Period.
We can certainly help and support others to change, but only when the time is right. Have you noticed that when you jump in uninvited (no matter what the motivation), your efforts are seldom met warmly? But when another reaches out to you and invites you in, saying, “I’m struggling, and I could use some help,” or “I’d like your opinion,” or “I’d like your help in making a change,” the exchange is entirely different. Then, whatever you have learned along your life’s journey can be shared, and it will likely be helpful and appreciated.

So instead of trying to make other people be like us, why don’t we instead learn to accept—and enjoy—the great and wonderful diversity of human expression.

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Finding the ‘right’ person/relationship

Everyone wants to find that special someone, but before that can happen ask yourself, how special do you think you are? Don’t think you are that special? Then how can you expect to find a special someone when you don’t consider yourself to be special? Special here is not referring to egotistical boasting, it is referring to how valuable you are to YOU!

How can somebody be right for you, when you aren’t even right for yourself? If you are not comfortable with yourself it is highly unlikely that being with someone will make you comfortable! As a matter of fact, the unease will show up and you will more than likely blame your partner for it.

So before finding the ‘right’ person, you need to be at ease with the here and now and become at ease with yourself.
You need to have a loving relationship with yourself in order to have one with someone else!
Most people have ideas of what their ideal relationship(s) would be like, but most people don’t get that kind of relationship and they wonder why.
My question is “is the kind of relationship you want, the kind of relationship you are having with yourself?”.

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Who’s Wrong?

Have you ever encountered those people who will never admit that they did or are doing something wrong? They always have an excuse as to why it’s ok or how it is someone else’s fault?
Always on the defensive. Don’t waste your breath on telling them why they are wrong, majority will never admit to it. Their ego gets in the way of that. But the real question is, why do you NEED them to admit to their fault(s)?
Your ego is what is getting in your way! (Wayne Dyer has a wonderful acronym for ego, Edging God Out!). Your ego needs to right so someone needs to be wrong!
You sometimes feel the need to fix the “wrong” of others, to point out their “wrong”, when maybe you need to take a look at what may need fixing in YOU. You only have control over you and that is where you need to put your focus. The rest will fall into place once you start doing that.
Another way to look at is, what if they acknowledge what you see as wrong, then what? What difference does it to make to your life-situation?
Changing your perspective, changes your situation.
Whatever annoying habit someone may have, what you need to think about is why are you letting it get to you. You are the one feeling the annoyance, you are the one allowing this to happen to you. So you are also the one that can stop it.

Stop trying to place blame or getting people accept blame and focus on becoming a better you!

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